Reasons to be cheerful, Pt. 4

After addressing The Guardian's recommendations on how to be happy here, I opened The Times from a couple of weeks ago and found they'd been at it as well.  It seemed only rude not to see what they had to say...

1. Don't overthink quality time
This basically says there's nothing wrong with watching TV (quality or otherwise) together as long as you're all enjoying it.  I can't really argue with that - as a family, we've worked our way through all seasons of the US version of The Office, 6 seasons of Taskmaster, Phase 1 of the MCU, this year's Bake Off and many other things besides.  I think all of these have worked pretty well because they have recurring "characters" who you can like/love/hate/relate to (more or less!) and enjoy watching them learn and evolve (or not, in some cases)

2. Put laptops out of sight at the end of the day
This isn't an entirely accurate headline but is instead more saying you should ensure that you stop work/school and move on to "home" life - whilst i agree with the general principle, there is no danger of screens being put away in the evening in our house!  We do have a "no screens at the dinner table" rule and that's as far as I feel we're going to push it (and abide by!).  However, if there's work that needs done in the evening, there's work that needs done in the evening - following the happiness rules and losing your job isn't going to be of benefit to anyone now, is it?

3. Routine is great, but you need some variety
Suggested variety includes dressing up for dinner (it doesn't make it clear whether this involves smart clothes or a clown outfit), visiting Tudor buildings in your city (which doesn't entirely fit well with lockdown) or a hip-hop dance workout.  Hmmm - I can't say I'm entirely convinced by the suggestions (although we did do family contemporary dance lessons - and no, you're not seeing the videos), but I can see the idea has basic merit.  I guess it's a case of finding your happy medium and if you feel something's not right, then try and change the balance.  And things get more complex with more people involved - there is certainly considerable variation within our family as to how much routine people would ideally like.

4. Home schooling - don't make it stressful
Yeah, thanks for that, Einstein.  Having said that, it does include the useful quote "We need to be good enough.  That's all we need to be as parents".  Which is, of course, somewhat ruined by the constant barrage of preachy articles printed elsewhere in The Times about how we're all ruining our kids' lives by not <insert popular fad of the day/week/month as appropriate>

5. Give your teenagers responsibilities - they need to feel useful.
"Teenagers who contribute to household chores feel useful and it provides structure". Hahahahahaaaa - stop it, you're killing me!  "Dad - thanks for making me do the hoovering.  I felt so useful".  Just no.

6. How to have a constructive row
Well, I guess it's better than a destructive row but this feels more in line with merely surviving lockdown rather than actively being happy. Maybe "having constructive dialogue" would be a better target - personally I think we're in a good place here.  Or at least that's what my wife tells me - and I daren't argue with her.

7. Make a ceremony of dinner when you can
Hmmm.  My view on this depends on the definitions of "ceremony" and "when you can".  Personally, for us the routine of family dinner has proved beneficial in providing structure to the day and reasonably infrequent "ceremonies" - treats, takeouts, Izzy's in-house restaurants - have provided fun alternatives.  Trying to do these ceremonies too often would most definitely not result in happiness - but I guess it all depends on the people involved.

8. Older kids need space, younger kids need connection
Seems based in fact, but somewhat trite.  I'd go for something more along the lines of "understand your childrens' needs for balance between space and connection - even if they don't"

9. Drop perfectionism
This happened a long time ago in my house and my mind - and I suspect I'm not alone here.

10. Be nice to yourself in the morning
What this is basically saying is "don't pick up your phone immediately".  Apparently some executive coach says you should do some exercise, go to the window and breathe in some fresh air or sit on the sofa with a cuppa because these give you a sense of accomplishment.  Personally, I don't see it myself, but if it keeps an executive coach out of my hair because they're too busy bothering other people, then I'm all for it.

11. Spend time away from your partner.
Where do I sign up? (I'm kidding!!)  We're lucky that we have the space (and the children of the right ages) that we barely see each other all day, so I don't think this is a problem for us (I'll ask my wife her opinion when I next see her) but I can see that it could be an issue if you're both working from the same sofa.

12. Take a walk at night
Errr - you do know it's winter, right?!?  Apparently this is partly to do with spending time with your partner and partly do with letting the kids have the house to themselves - both of which seem perfectly doable during the hours of daylight to me.  I am a fan of taking a walk, but see no earthly reason to leave the house when it's dark.

13. Address GCSE/A-level deflation
I'm not going to address this one other than to say I can't even begin to imagine what the respective students and their parents are going through here.  We're still a year away and I hate to imagine the fall-out there's going to be for us, but the whole situation is just so depressing and badly handled (which unfortunately isn't the slightest bit surprising - a little bit of politics for you there)

14. Help university students stuck at home
Be patient, appears to be the recommendation here.  Which feels to be true for everyone else stuck at home, so I'm not sure why they get a special mention.  It's the parents I feel sorry for!

15. Keep older relatives in good spirits
What - another special mention?!?  "Little and often" seems to be the recommendation here and I know someone sitting very close to this keyboard who could probably take this advice to heart (sorry, M&D!).  Sending photos and videos is also raised as an alternative to calling, which seems like a good idea to me.

16. Tackling loneliness
Again, Einstein, thanks for your suggestion.  Maintain contact seems to be the main advice here, but I suspect there are plenty of people out there trying to do so but still suffering dreadfully - and being told to "sort it out" isn't going to help.  Unfortunately, I don't have the answer (I'm not convinced this news will surprise you) but if you're in that space, I feel for you and hope you find a way out.

All in all, I found this a less amusing list that The Guardian's - there are less bonkers suggestions involved, although teenagers wanting to do household chores possibly tops anything The Guardian suggested.  I also think a lot of the suggestions are directly contradicted by other contributors to The Times, which does somewhat smack of hypocrisy to me - but fortunately I don't read it to be preached to.  

Personally, I think it's worth considering all the suggestions as to whether they relate to you (yes, thank you #15) and, if so, thinking as to whether there's anything you can do to address this.  Unfortunately though, whilst for some people recognising a problem even if you can't resolve it is helpful, for others this just leads to further problems - only you can know where you sit on this scale.  Which doesn't seem to be the most upbeat way to end, so maybe I'll just mention LED face masks again :-)

Prev : Reasons to be cheerful, Pt. 3
Next : So now you're happy, but you're bored...