I ain't getting on no crane
Our penultimate attempt at being happy
32. Get debobbling
"Discover the disproportionate pleasure of restoring a bobbly cardigan, or rug, to its former pristine glory with the electric debobbler". I can imagine that it is pleasing, as opposed to full on cheering - but I struggle to imagine me ever buying an electric debobbler.
33. Make personalised biscuits
"Stamping rude, personalised messages on to biscuits is huge, childish fun" - who knew? And what rude message do The Guardian suggest? Yes, it's "You disgust me" - I struggle to imagine anyone I know using that particular insult. I can, however, imagine quite a few people I know being inventively offensive with this task.
34. Whittle while you work
Spoon whittling is a thing, apparently. Not for me it isn't.
35. Wash your dirty trainers
I can't see this would exactly cheer me - but if I owned white trainers then it might at least slightly lighten my mood. It also contained two sensible suggestions (which I totally wasn't expecting) - take the laces out and put them in pillowcase and also wash them with a towel to prevent damage to the machine.
36. Tell yourself that you’re great
Why would I tell myself something I already know because everyone tells me all the time? But hey, if that's what you need, then go for it - after all, you are great!
37. Wear a cardigan
I wore a cardigan quite a lot at uni, but I wouldn't dream of doing so now. Am I ageing backwards? If a cardigan will float your boat though, then go for it!
38. Clean your fridge
"Pound for pound, the most satisfying piece of housework" - what does that even mean? I can't say I ever do a full on clean, but throwing out the six month old vegetables is satisfying - and you only have to do it every six months!
39. Get high
By which they mean, climb a crane. No seriously, they really do suggest that.
40. Master marble solitaire
I find this an interesting suggestion - I know marble solitaire can be beaten and I enjoy it when I beat it, but learning how to win every time would soon remove any joy from the matter. And then I'd forget, which would annoy me.
41. Soak your feet
I know some people love this, but I really don't see the appeal. Part of me is tempted to try it just so I can definitely state I hate it as much as I think I will - which is quite a perverse way of thinking, isn't it? But imagine if I actually LIKED it?!?
42. Listen to a slow, sad song
I enjoy this, but I can't say it cheers me up. Cathartic - yes. Emotional - yes. But cheering? No.
This was a rubbish selection - when putting a towel in the washing machine is the thing that impresses you most then you know you're in trouble. Although it was fun typing "debobbler"...
#21-31 : Read and listen to music with funny lipstick on
#42-53 : Our final chance at happiness
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