Boredom got a new best friend - part 2

Yes, it's a difficult situation at the minute, but The Guardian always has a list to help you deal with every eventuality.  And no, I'm not talking about 17 things you can do with marmalade (like Paddington, I have a general liking for marmalade, but I'm REALLY not convinced by the marmalade carrot puddings).  I'm obviously talking about this one where Guardian readers nominally suggest ways to beat lockdown boredom - but really what they're trying to do is to out-Guardian the utter nonsense provided by Guardian journalists and "celebrities" (which I might possibly have commented on here).

1. Make clothes
Mike (who describes himself as a blogger and digital marketing manager, so he's obviously a hateful creature) has been making his own clothes.  Unfortunately, he's only made sensible clothes (I'm so disappointed he didn't mention socks, underpants or a monks cowl) so I struggle to openly mock his choice of activity - particularly since I am in awe of anyone who can use a sewing machine (my mum once explained how to thread one up to me and I had to go for a lie down afterwards).  The only problem I see with this activity is the optionality of actually wearing clothes at the minute, but these things will pass.  Probably.

2. Learn ballet via YouTube
I see nothing wrong with learning whatever you want to via YouTube or any other available mechanism during this time (there is a lot of Zoom-based dancing going on in our house - none of which currently involves me though).  I might question the practicality of ballet in particular for most people in terms of the expertise and space required, but if you fancy it, then why not give it a go?

3. Wind down by embroidering
These are all distressingly sensible suggestions so far - whilst I suspect a combination of eyesight, co-ordination and creativity makes it unlikely I'll be taking up embroidery, I can see it could provide an excellent "different to your usual routine" alternative for many.  My mum has a most excellent sampler up on her wall which took her many years to complete, so hopefully lockdown will be finished before you complete what you decide to take up.

4. Take photos indoors
Russell is taking pictures of his action figures "in action".  My, how the seconds must fly by.

5. Learn Italian
I know two Italian phrases "mille­cento­cinquant­otto" ("1158") and "E molto pericoloso sporgersi dal finestrino" ("it's very dangerous to lean out of the window" - yes, I went Inter-railing), so I think we can agree I've got all the important bases covered in that language - but for others I can see many benefits to this activity.  I also particularly like this suggestion because Ali is going to reward herself with a trip to Italy when this is all over, which seems like an excellent way of giving yourself something to look forward to, whilst also filling up lockdown time with a worthwhile activity.  The only problem I have is that I find learning languages really difficult - my brain just doesn't seem to work that way and, as lockdown continues, I must admit I'm finding even English increasingly tricky to handle.

6. Snap a daily family portrait
Rowena takes pictures outdoors, so she's one step ahead of Russell already. She also convinces her family to dress up in one colour and add strange props - and all I can say from looking at the photos is that her daughters are considerably more tolerant of such requests than mine would be.  "Can I take your picture?" "No" is generally how the conversation goes in our house, so I struggle to imagine what reaction I would get from "Can you dress all in blue, hold this blue suitcase and stand next to me whilst I'm wearing a blue dress?" 

7. Draw and paint
Another eminently sensible suggestion and one which my mum is embracing whole-heartedly with some fantastic output being shared on the family WhatsApp group.  However, if I were to attempt it, this would not be the case - recognise your limits, people.

8. Play Dungeons and Dragons
Plenty of people attempted to get me to play D&D when I was a teenager - but even as a desperately uncool teenager, I knew the danger that lay in accepting such approaches (that's what the "Just Say No" campaign was about, right?).  And even though I've matured into a desperately uncool fifty-something, I'm still not going to fall for it, I'm afraid.  Having said that, I can see there is joy to be had in such activities, but it strikes me that all such joy would be efficiently removed by doing it online.

9. Try book-inspired crafting
Finally, someone who has fully understood the underlying Guardian ethos to this list - "For a book with a murder mystery set around a lunch party, I created a miniature furniture setting using biscuits.".  And there's a picture of it too!  Thank you, Ashima - my faith in human nature is restored.

10. Clean path and parks
This is exactly the sort of activity I would normally mock mercilessly.  But, err, well - I must confess I've been sweeping the pavement outside our house and it's actually given me a certain amount of satisfaction.  So clean away, kids - you might like it!

11. "Collect" walks
It turns out this means "go on walks and record them in Strava".  Why not, eh?!?  It doesn't feel like a massively left-field recommendation, but if your imagination is such that this hadn't occurred to you, then give it a go and prepare to have your mind blown.

12. Explore your ancestry
Explore your ancestry?!?  Who do you think you are?!?  I can imagine that some online ancestry detective work might be fun - but I also imagine I'd get frustrated as the leads started to dry up as you head backwards in time.  After all, as my children frequently tell me, I was born in the time of the dinosaurs.

All in all, I'm very disappointed by this selection of Guardian readers - a lot of these are very sensible suggestions which I can find no option for other than to thoroughly recommend if you are feeling the need for a challenge.  So, I'm obviously off to create a miniature furniture setting out of biscuits whilst wearing a blue dress...

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