Come to think about, his name was - it was you. Damn!

Continuing my trip up Rolling Stone's list of the 500 Greatest Albums Of All Time...

#145 : The Marshall Mathers LP - Eminem (2000)

Chris Rock joked that the world was so crazy, “the best rapper is a white guy,” referring to Eminem. He’d been accused of corrupting the nation’s youth by fostering misogyny on his major-label debut, and to say he doubled down on playing with offensive ideas only exaggerates his joyful commitment to earning more denunciations. “The Real Slim Shady” and “Bitch Please II” vaulted Eminem from a shock rapper with a sense of humor to the voice of a generation. And in “Stan,” he created a verb and a meme to describe extreme fandom in our era.

I like early Eminem but as we covered last time there are, shall we say, "issues" with his music - but that doesn't stop me listening to at least the first half of this album on a fairly regular basis.  So let's first consider the good.  "The Real Slim Shady" (which includes the line "Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell records - well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too" which always makes me laugh) is interesting in that it became a focal point for disaffected youth deciding they wanted to be themselves - and the best way to do that was to all sing along to the travails of a completely fictional character.  "The Way I Am" is also a particularly fine song - but both pale into insignificance when compared with "Stan", which has to be up there with the best of the genre, being a well structured story with a compelling arc, a devastating ending and a surprising amount of humanity (which is a quality that can be sorely missing from his work at time).

Now - the bad.  There are a LOT of homophobic references - so many that some people might suggest he's protesting too much.  The misogyny also shines out - with the vast majority of the violence involved being directed against women.  Yes, he says he's joking but I suspect he might have had some issues with his then wife - "Kim" is one very fucked-up song, so it wasn't totally surprising they got divorced the following year (although it was somewhat more surprising they got married again in 2006.  Which lasted a whole 3 months).  I actually don't buy the whole "I'm joking" line - I don't think he believes most of what he says, but he's basically doing it to shock and you'd have to say he managed it very effectively at the time.

Once again (this is getting to be a habit), Wikipedia tells me I agree with Robert Christgau who said that on this album he was "exceptionally witty and musical, discernibly thoughtful and good-hearted, indubitably dangerous and full of shit" - I feel that pretty much covers it.  And most of the other critics took a similar line - but the public lapped it up with global sales of 21 million.  The entries for both the album and the artist and lengthy reads but interesting - the boy doesn't do boring!

"Customers also listened to" all his rappy mates - none of whom I like anywhere near as much as I like him.  And whilst I think some of this album is abhorrent, it's very well done abhorrence - and the rest of the album is of extremely high quality and overall I like it.

#144 : Physical Graffiti - Led Zeppelin (1975) 

The last great Led Zeppelin album is — like most 1970s double LPs — a bloated beast. But its self-indulgent swagger is the very unifying thing that makes it so much fun — and one of the heaviest records of the Seventies. Physical Graffiti is the ultimate in Zeppelin’s attempts to fuse East and West, exploring the Arabic and Indian sonorities of “Kashmir” and “In the Light.” It’s Zeppelin’s most eclectic album, featuring down-and-dirty blues (“Black Country Woman,” “Boogie With Stu”), pop balladry (“Down by the Seaside”), metal riffs (“The Wanton Song”), and the 11-minute “In My Time of Dying.” An excessive album from the group that all but invented excess.

Whilst I obviously like "Stairway To Heaven" (I'm not a monster!), the Led Zep albums I've experienced so far (like this one) have left me somewhat cold - I can appreciate the musicianship involved, but for me it tends to feel either bloated or just messy.  So you can imagine my joy when Rolling Stone described this album as bloated, eclectic and excessive - I could hardly wait to listen to it!

So, imagine my surprise when I found myself liking large sections of it - I've no idea what was going on!  I can definitely say this is infinitely better than Houses Of The Holy - yes, it is bloated, eclectic and excessive, but mostly I was surprisingly fine with it.  "Kashmir" was the high point for me being, as it is, a very fine track - so good, I can forgive it the 8 minute plus length.  It's bugging me where I recognise it from and Inspector Google isn't helping me - it's suggesting a Puff Daddy single, but if I'm honest that doesn't seem overly likely to be the source.  It also taught me a new word - "ostinato" (Italian for stubborn) which refers to a motif or phrase that persistently repeats in the same musical voice, frequently in the same pitch.  Don't say you don't learn anything here!  As Rolling Stone suggests, the album is waaaaay too long - 82 minutes - but I was surprised how long it took me to tire of it.

The Wikipedia entry for the album gives it the full track-by-track treatment reserved for fan favourites - and this really was a firm favourite in the US with sales of 8 million and, after it's release, all their previous albums also re-entered the top 200 chart.  The section I found most interesting was the "Artwork And Packaging" section because it describes the album cover in minute detail - and the whole thing sounds so outrageously complicated that just can't picture what it looks like and so I'm tempted to go looking for it in charity shops to see if it makes sense with the album cover in front of me.  The band's entry is still huge - I read quite a bit of it, but picking a couple of random facts to include here just feels like way too much hard work.  We'll just leave it by saying that at the time of this album they were the biggest band in the world - and I'm pleased that having listened to this album, I can kinda see why.

"Customers also listened to" Hendrix, Hendrix, Hendrix (who we haven't seen any of yet) and Cream.  But I'm glad I listened to this and would revisit it - I imagine it sounds particularly fine loud.

#143 : The Velvet Underground - The Velvet Underground (1969) 

The third Velvet Underground album doesn’t have any songs about S&M or drug deals, and there’s no wailing feedback. But quieter beauty was just as revelatory. Lou Reed sang poignant folk-rock tunes that describe loss (“Pale Blue Eyes”) or spiritual thirst (“Jesus”). And because the Velvets liked it when people danced at their shows, there are two great uptempo numbers, “Beginning to See the Light” and “What Goes On,” where Reed and Sterling Morrison entwine their guitar licks and sustain a joyful minimalist groove that creates a blueprint for generations of bands, including everyone from the Modern Lovers to the Feelies to Parquet Courts.

So, this is our third visit with the Velvets on this list and the other two albums have been utterly, utterly shit - so I can't say expectations were high for this one, despite it's relatively lofty position.  However, there was a slight glimmer of hope because I knew "Pale Blue Eyes" from the R.E.M. cover and, whilst I can't say it's anywhere near to being my favourite track of theirs, it doesn't make me feel like lobotomizing myself - which is a vast improvement on the Velvet Underground albums we've had so far.

And the good news is that this is definitely a step up in quality - I'd go as far as saying it's mostly just shit, with some tolerable moments appearing at infrequent intervals.  And if that's not going to make you rush out and buy it, I don't know what will.

The Wikipedia entry for the album tells me that "The Velvet Underground was released in 1969 and did not impact the Billboard 200 until 1985, when it reached No. 197" - although I'm not sure #197 counts as all that much impact.  It also made me very glad I listened to the original album rather that the 6 CD 45th anniversary version - can you imagine how grumpy I'd have been if had to suffer that?  And you're not getting anything from their Wikipedia entry until they have an album on here that doesn't make me grumpy.

"Customers also listened to" The Kinks (really?), Jefferson Airplane and Cream - all of which I would take over this shite.  But it's better shite than they've managed so far - so well done them, eh?

A tricky one - apart from last place, of course.  Physical Graffiti is undoubtedly a well-loved and great album of historical importance and certainly has a lot less objectionable material on it - and I'm not sure we should be rewarding Mr Mathers for his questionable content.  But, I like Eminem's effort and I also remember the impact both it and he made at the time (check out this clip from the VMAs, which is genius) - certainly more than the 7 year old remembers Led Zep storming the world in 1975.  So I'm giving it to Eminem - which I'm not expecting to be a popular choice.

#149-146 - John, Frank, Jeff & Debbie
#142-140 - various combinations of quiet and loud