Don't ever speak to me when you see me

Continuing my trip up Rolling Stone's list of the 500 Greatest Albums Of All Time...

#370 : Tha Carter II - Lil Wayne (2005)

On Tha Carter II, Lil Wayne anointed himself the “best rapper alive,” and drove himself insane trying to make good on his declaration. He demolishes the same beat three ways (“Fly In,” “Carter II,” “Fly Out”), like a Michelin-starred chef using every part of the animal, and drops 106 & Park jams (“Fireman,” “Shooter”) with ease. “I deserve the throne,” he raps on “Hustler Musik.” “And if the kid ain’t right, then let me die on this song.” Two years later, Wayne was alive and well, and the throne was firmly secured.

I was vaguely aware of Lil Wayne, but probably only because I've seen various lists noting that pretty much every other rapper is called Lil Something (I'm disappointed to find out there isn't one called Lil Something).  I can't say I had any particular expectations (good or bad) and the description above did nothing more than make me go "huh?".  And I'm afraid to say the album didn't result in much more - there's obviously skill involved but, for me, one track just blurs into the next so, if someone (for some strange reason) forced me to, I'd struggle to pick highlights from the album.  Especially since the album is 22 tracks and 77 minutes long - I really didn't need that much of an apparently not very happy man relentlessly going on about either money or effing them bees.  And if I was to be played any of Tha Carter I, I, III, IV or V (heaven forbid!), I suspect it would be unlikely I'd be able to differentiate them - I'm more than happy to admit the problem lies with me, so let's just leave it there.

The Wikipedia entry for the album tells me this is way better than some of previous efforts, so maybe I would be able to differentiate - but I won't be attempting to find out.  His Wikipedia entry is more amusing, including sections on his support for Donald Trump and his various feuds (you can't be a proper rapper unless you have multiple feuds on the go, apparently).  "Customers also listened to" a load of other people I'm sure I'd struggle to differentiate between, so although the internet tells me that Lil Wayne is one of the best out there, I'm just going to have to take their word for it and leave them to enjoy his music.  

#369 : The Infamous - Mobb Deep (1995)

“We were just straight hood,” Havoc said. “It wasn’t no pretty boy shit. He was talking about the Timberlands and bandanas he and Prodigy (R.I.P.) wore, but that was also the brutal appeal of their second album, which the duo produced mostly by themselves. Q Tip functioned as an executive producer, adding depth to sinister tracks built off of 1970s samples, many of them from the LP collection that Prodigy’s jazz-musician grandfather left to him. “Shook Ones Pt. II,” a minor hit, and “Survival of the Fittest” have only one impetus, to document life in a Queens project.

Oh dear.  I feared we may be in similar territory here - and yeah, we were.  I think (but would struggle to be entirely sure) I slightly preferred this album - they seem to take themselves slightly less seriously (and it was 11 minutes shorter) - but it still kinda blurred past me.  So once again, I'm going to hold off on passing judgement other than "not for me".

As with the previous album, Wikipedia goes to great lengths to explain how influential both the album and Mobb Deep are but they can't be as famous as Lil Wayne, because they don't have a section about their feuds.  Having said that, looking at Prodigy's page shows he was more than happy to have a pop at anyone who looked at him funny (the first entry is "The West Coast"!).  Amusingly, looking at Havoc's page, the only feud listed against him is with Prodigy.  I suspect you can guess how much I know about what "customers also listened to" - this is another album I'll leave to those who love it.  And if the next album is another well-loved and influential hip-hop album then the decision as to who wins the round is going to be a tricky one indeed.

#368 : All Things Must Pass - George Harrison (1970)

After the end of the Beatles, the Quiet One suddenly looked like the one best prepared for the solo life. After years of writing in the shadow of John Lennon and Paul McCartney, George Harrison had enough songs saved up to make his solo debut a triple album, featuring friends like Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton, and Ringo Starr. All Things Must Pass is full of spiritual guitar quests like “Isn’t It a Pity” and “My Sweet Lord,” the first Number One hit to include a Hare Krishna chant.

Well, it seems like we dodged a bullet there - surely George can do enough to take the spoils?!?  It's a beautifully named album (especially when you consider what he'd been through at this point in his life) and it has to be better than Paul McCartney's effort at least.  I was expecting this album to be quietly melodic in an early Paul Simon kind of way - certainly not too challenging for my old ears (and I was expecting this to be a relief after the last two albums).  And challenging it most certainly isn't...

...it's just a bit dull really.  It isn't offensively bad in the way Macca's was, it just noodles along with one song blurring into the next.  And given that I moaned about Lil Wayne going on for 77 minutes, it would be very unfair of me not to point out that George produced a triple album weighing in at 107 minutes, which I can see absolutely no reason for - and a tight 40 minutes would undoubtedly have made for a much more pleasurable listening experience.

Weirdly, Wikipedia doesn't seem to have anything to say about him or the album.  Odd, huh?!?  Unsurprisingly, this is not quite true - the entry for the album alone is one of the longest ones I've seen and there was the odd other event or two in his life which they also deemed to be worthy of comment.  "Customers also listened to" John Lennon and Lou Reed - and one of these surprised me more than the other (especially given that George always seemed like such a nice guy and Lou, well, not quite so nice).  But I'm afraid this is another album I'll be avoiding (it seems like ever since I mentioned we were on a good run, it's all gone horribly wrong)

Hmmm - so what do I do now?  I'm tempted to go with George for just being better than Paul, but I actually think I stand most chance of listening to Mobb Deep again (and they had the most entertaining feuds) so they're getting it, which I'm sure has made their day/week/month (delete as appropriate)

#373-371 - And the winner (by default) is...
#367-365 - We're really not on a good run here