We knew right from the start that you'd fall apart

Continuing my trip up Rolling Stone's list of the 500 Greatest Albums Of All Time...

#397 : WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE ALL GO? - Billie Eilish (2019)

Billie Eilish became a teen folk hero with her blockbuster debut — just your average 17-year-old songwriting prodigy with a head full of nightmares. Eilish wrote and recorded these tunes with her brother, Finneas, at the L.A. house where they grew up. But her adolescent imagination ran wild, from the gothic angst of “Bury a Friend” to the whispery trap-pop strut of “Bad Guy.” The voice of a new generation? Duh.

I really liked "bad guy" (look at her, mixing her cases!) and I really wanted to like this album at the time, but when I got round to it I was somewhat underwhelmed, so was hoping for a re-evaluation when I came back to it now.  But unfortunately, no such re-evaluation took place.  I mean, it's "fine" and she has a distinctive style, which is rare these days.  But, for me, the other tracks don't approach "bad guy" in terms of quality so the whole album just kinds nods by.  I can only hope the massive pile of money she much have made will help her hope cope with the crushing disappointment of my opinion (although, tbh there's a strong chance she'd have been disappointed at someone quite so OLD loving it).

Unsurprisingly, the Wikipedia entry for the album is lengthy but no facts of interest jumped out at me - although the following does give you an idea how much everyone else disagreed with my opinion "Eilish became the second recording artist and first woman to win the ceremony's four major categories – Album of the Year, Record of the Year, Song of the Year, and Best New Artist – for the same year."  Customers also listened to a load of people that don't seem to be particularly good matches to me - which just suggests she really does have her own groove, which is impressive for anyone but even more so for one so young.  Unfortunately, it's just not a groove that I particularly enjoyed.

#396 : Something/Anything? - Todd Rundgren (2019)

“I’m probably the whitest singer in the world,” Todd Rundgren told Rolling Stone in 1972. “I have no ‘soul’ in the usual sense — but I can do this great feminine falsetto.” On this tour de force double album, Rundgren employs that falsetto on two great singles (“I Saw the Light” and “Hello It’s Me”). For the rest of the album, he demonstrates his complete command of the studio, playing almost all the instruments himself, experimenting with a kaleidoscope of rock genres, and even delivering a monologue on what poorly made records sound like.

I was aware of Todd, but not entirely sure what kind of music he produced.  And, having listened to the album, I now know what kind of music he produced - and I just wish I could go back to those blessed days of ignorance once more.  Given that he plays all the instruments, it's certainly an impressive undertaking - but the music he produces is very much not my cup of tea.  And the monologues are just bizarre - and maybe a bit show-offy, which there's absolutely no need for.  And there's 90 minutes of it all - god, it was a struggle.

Wikipedia presented me with many facts about both the album and the man, none of which I cared to know except for the fact that he produced Bat Out Of Hell, so he at least redeems himself partially in my eyes (but nowhere near enough to forgive him for this album).  "Customers also listened to" a load of people I've never heard of - and I can assure you I am happy to let them stay that way.  It's just not for me.

#395 : Black Messiah - D’Angelo and the Vanguard (2014)

Fourteen years after Voodoo, D’Angelo built up impossible levels of anticipation for his next move. But Black Messiah was worth the wait. He brought a new political rage to deep-soul grooves like “The Charade,” responding to the Black Lives Matter movement: “All we wanted was a chance to talk/Instead we only got outlined in chalk.” D’Angelo admits in “Really Love,” “I’m not an easy man to overstand.” Yet he meshes beautifully with kindred spirits, from Roots drummer Questlove to jazz trumpeter Roy Hargrove.

I was not aware of either D'Angelo or his Vanguard - and the description above didn't really help.  And having listened to it, I can't say I quite felt the rage.  To me, it just sounded like someone who liked Prince.  A lot.  And there's nothing wrong with liking Prince (even a lot), but I'm not sure it makes you the black messiah (maybe just a very naughty boy!).  My gnawing suspicion is that I missed a whole level of this album - but I'd have to say I don't care enough to revisit it to try and find it.

Wikipedia has pages of information telling me I'm wrong - but I only really got as far as the first section which gave me the giggles - "By 2005, D'Angelo's girlfriend had left him, his attorney had become displeased with him, and most of his family was out of touch with him."  Can there be anything worse to have ever happened to a man than to have had his attorney become displeased with him?!?  "Customers also listened to" Solange and Erykah Badu - which I can't say I'm overly familiar with, but I can see from my limited experience.  So whilst I didn't hate this, I didn't particularly like it either - I thought it was just there.

So, well done to Billie for extending the considerable acclaim which has greeted her album to now include "winner of this round".  I guess I'd better get updating her Wikipedia page.

#400-398 - Not a close contest
#394-392 - Three nice ladies and one bad man