Intoxicate me, I'm a lush

Continuing my trip up Rolling Stone's list of the 500 Greatest Albums Of All Time...

#443 : Scary Monsters - David Bowie (1980)

It’s the end, the end of the Seventies; it’s the end, the end of the century. Bowie looks back over a decade he helped define and rips it into pieces, with futuristic post-punk lampoons like “Fashion” and “Teenage Wildlife,” where he bitches about “the same old thing in brand-new drag.” He revisits the Major Tom story with “Ashes to Ashes,” where he screams along with the New Romantic synths, acting out the sad story of the lost astronaut who finds the higher he gets, the lower he feels.

I have a problem with Bowie - it's not that I don't like him but I just know the singles so well and generally don't know the albums at all, so when I visit an album (generally because someone tells me it's a classic and I must), I focus on the singles so much that everything else just kinda slides by.  And I'm sorry to say, this is pretty much what happened here - "Ashes To Ashes" and "Fashion" being Bowie classics ("Scary Monsters" somewhat less so imho) so why would you need anything else?  Although I must admit to also quite liking "Because You're Young" - so well done me for managing to notice one other track on the album.  I did, however, get the impression I could learn to appreciate this album - more so than some of the other Bowie classics I've been directed towards (and apparently it was also more commercially successful than them as well)

"Customers also listened to" is an interesting one because I couldn't imagine who was going to turn up - Echo and the Bunnymen and The Specials were listed first, which didn't seem obvious choices to me.  The Wikipedia page for the album is reasonably lengthy but surprisingly dull - spend your time reviewing the page on the man himself, which is unsurprisingly huge.  I found him a fascinating character who managed to be interesting and interested in so many different areas - he always seemed to have a nuanced and considered viewpoint (although I suspect there may be some interviews from the 70s where he makes slightly less sense).  When I learned that he had died (and he even managed to do that in an "interesting" way) I must admit to have shed the odd tear or two.  

However, having said how much I admired him and that I feel I could learn to appreciate the album, it doesn't feel very likely I'll do so - I'll stick with the "Best Ofs" (which I bet we won't see on this list, despite them actually being great albums!)

#442 : Beauty Behind The Madness - The Weeknd (2015)

Abel Tesfaye lets you know who he is right out front, no metaphors, on the Kanye West co-produced track “Tell Your Friends”: His life is about “poppin’ pills, fuckin’ bitches, livin’ life so trill.” The Toronto R&B singer helped make pop music a darker place in the 2010s — “Bitch, I’m still a user,” he warns on his hugely successful second LP. His pristine, downy voice and spare, frosty electronic tracks suck you in, and Swedish pop genius Max Martin produces three tracks, including the bumping “Can’t Feel My Face,” a love song to cocaine as well as a massive pop hit.

Was this really 5 years ago?!?  How did that happen?  I was aware of "Can't Feel My Face" (you couldn't avoid it at the time) but had never heard this album - but was expecting it to be more of the same.  And it kinda is, although the other tracks do their very best to make it clear that as well as the drugs, he's very much into the ladies, thank you very much.  Lots and lots of lovely ladies - in fact, there's no need for them actually to be lovely.  Some people might think it gets a little tiresome - and I might possibly be included among their number.  He might make the argument that it's all an ironic comment on the nature of fame or just a facade to mask his insecurity - but I'd just be suspicious he was making that argument in order that he can eff some more bees.

Which is all a bit of a shame really, because I like his voice and most of the songs are well put together.  "Customers also listened to" Kendrick Lamar and Childish Gambino, which I can see and I'd have to say I'd go for Kendrick every time over this, despite the songs being less accessible because this just all gets a bit tiresome.  "Can't Feel My Face" is undoubtedly a top track though..

#441 : Blackout - Britney Spears (2007)

The pop queen vents all her raging party-girl hostility in Blackout — the weirdest, wildest music of her life. Blackout is her avant-disco concept album about fame, scandal, divorce, and dancing on tables in a cloud of glitter and Cheetos dust. “I’m Miss American Dream since I was 17,” Britney sneers in “Piece of Me,” with her voice warped into an electro-punk snarl. When she asks, “You want a piece of me?” she’s either pimping herself out or threatening to kick your ass. Either way, it’s Britney, bitch.

Well so far we've had "a guy who had well-publicised struggles with illicit substances", followed by "well, like the same".  So, in the words of Monty Python, "and now for something completely different"...

Well, even I'm aware of Britney.  And I've got a bit of a soft spot, if I'm honest - I've liked a lot of stuff she's done over the years (although watching the videos often feels just wrong).  But I don't think I've ever experienced a Britney album and, I must admit, I was wondering (before I heard the album) exactly how many people would consider an album from this period of Britney to be a top 500 great album.

And having listened to it?  Well, I think it's only fair to say I'm still wondering.  It has a fair few "genius or lunatic" moments - but a lot of it is just a bit bleepy and vocoded.  Not that there's anything wrong with a bit of that (some of my best friends are bleepy and/or vocoded) but you need a guiding hand, which feels like it might have been lacking here.  I would have to say that "It's Britney, bitch" is a 100% stone-cold classic way to start an album (especially under the circumstances) but, to me, there wasn't a lot to continue that rich vein.  I would also say that most of the critics from around the time (and Rolling Stone, from now) disagree with me, so I suspect Britney gives zero fucks (assuming she can remember making this album)

So, you thought David Bowie's Wikipedia page was long?  Welcome to BritneyWorld!  To be fair to the lass, she's lived her life under the microscope during this period, so it's not surprising she's as documented as she is and it's amazing she's as sane as she is.  

"Customers also listened to" The Pussycat Dolls and The Black-eye Peas (I guess someone has to) but I'm sorry to say this album doesn't do it for me - there are better breakdown albums out there.  I honestly believe Britney is great though and have just checked out whether we're going to see her again in the list and it appears not - which does have me slightly concerned as to what I'm going to be listening to for the next 6 months.  Stick with it Britney - in another 30 years, they'll accept your Greatest Hits album on here!

One of the trickier rounds to declare a winner - and, you know what, I'm giving it to Britney!  Bowie didn't quite do it for me and he's so going to be back (I promise to give you one round, Dave!) and, as a dad of two fantastic girls, Mr Weeknd (as he likes to be known) doesn't deserve it for that album (even though I know they'd laugh at the old coke fiend).  So well done, Britters!

#446-444 - Jazz harp, anyone?
#440-438 - It's all a bit of a blur...