We've pulled too many false alarms

Continuing my trip up Rolling Stone's list of the 500 Greatest Albums Of All Time...

#488 : The Stooges - The Stooges (1969)

Fueled by “a little marijuana and a lotta alienation,” Michigan’s Stooges gave the lie to hippie idealism, playing with a savagery that unsettled even the most blasé clubgoers. Ex-Velvet Underground member John Cale produced a primitive debut wherein, amid Ron Asheton’s wah-wah blurts, Iggy Stooge (né James Osterberg) snarled seminal punk classics such as “I Wanna Be Your Dog,” “No Fun,” and “1969,” bedrock examples of the weaponized boredom that would become a de rigueur punk posture.

I'd never listened to this album, but knew and liked "I Wanna Be Your Dog" which, at one year younger than me, has aged almost as well - so I was hoping for more like that, please.  And boy, was I disappointed - the Rolling Stone review mentions "weaponized boredom" and I can assure you my boredom was well and truly weaponized by this album.  It sounds like a sub-par early Rolling Stones tribute act who couldn't really be bothered - it's not my idea of a cool time to have some repeatedly tell me "we will have a real cool time tonight".  

"Customers also listened to" The Velvet Underground and The Rolling Stones - whilst I'm not a huge fan of either of those bands, I'd take them both every time over this album.  So, I think it's safe to say it's a "No" from me.  Next!

#487 : Damaged - Black Flag (1981)

MCA refused to release this album, denouncing it as “immoral” and “anti-parent.” High praise, but Black Flag lived up to it, defining L.A. hardcore punk with Greg Ginn’s violent guitar and the pissed-off scream of Henry Rollins, especially on “TV Party” and “Rise Above,” which came with the timeless smash-the-glass salvo “We are tired of your abuse/Try to stop is but it’s no use.” Punks still listen to Damaged, and parents still hate it.

I wasn't expecting to like this, but I was intrigued to listen to it given the respect Black Flag are given in with regards to being pioneers of the hardcore punk movement.  What I certainly wasn't expecting was to hate it as much as I did - Rolling Stone would say it's because I'm a parent but I'm pretty certain I'd have hated this back in 1981 and at any other time in between.  I'd also say I'm mystified as to why Black Flag are held in such high regard as opposed to others, but I've decided I'm totally prepared to take others word for it.  Mostly because otherwise I'd have to listen to more hardcore punk and I really don't need that in my life now - or ever.

"Customers also listened to" Bad Brains and Dead Kennedys who I'm sure were all lovely young men but I have absolutely no desire to become acquainted with any examples of their oeuvre.  Next!

#486 : Continuum - John Mayer (2006)

After establishing himself as a post-Dave Matthews heartthrob, John Mayer grew into his soul and blues ambitions for a subtly crafted album aided by ace musicians like guitarists Ben Harper and Charlie Hunter, drummer-producer Steve Jordan, and jazz trumpeter Roy Hargrove — from the smooth Hi Records-tinged soul of “Vultures” to “Waiting for the World to Change,” a deceptively knowing and self-aware take on generational apathy.

I was aware of John Mayer more for his string of celebrity girlfriends than anything else, which didn't really give me any particular expectations as to what this album would sound like.  And having listened to it, I can confidently say it's "fine".  Unfortunately, I'm using that word here to mean "acceptable", as opposed to meaning "superb".  It's a solidly OK album that washed over me and left no lasting impression, except for the terrible lyrics on "Gravity" - "gravity wants to bring me down".  Oh, please.

As with the previous album, I'm somewhat mystified as to the regard with which John Mayer is held but I couldn't ever imagine myself finding the energy to actively dislike him.  "Customers also listened to" Jason Mraz and Ingrid Michaelson, which gives me absolutely no clues as to his fanbase but I'm sure they're all lovely people, despite their somewhat insipid taste in music.

All of which leaves us with John Mayer as the clear winner - but let's face it, the Moshi Monsters album would have been in with a shout given the competition.

#491-489 - Are you kidding me?
#485-483 - UK couple take on the might of the US