Do I turn the handle, or does it turn me?

The latest in an occasional series of theatre reviews...

Man To Man : Royal Court

This was something new - a trip to the theatre with the lovely Mrs Reed. And even more unusually, it was to a theatre neither of us had been to before to see something that neither of us knew the faintest thing about because this was a present from the lovely Mrs Davies (my youngest sister). She's a proper theatrical luvvie (which she'll read and think "NO! I'm not a luvvie!! Oh, hang on...") so we knew there would be something pretty special about it, but apart from knowing that it had Tilda Swinton in it, we were going in blind. Yes, we could have done some research but that would spoil all the fun - I had a sneaking suspicion that it might not have helped (and I suspect we might come back to this point later).

And a very nice theatre in a very nice part of town it is too! Because I had proper company that likes to eat proper food, we went to a proper restaurant beforehand (rather than my usual McDonalds or similar) - obviously we hadn't done any research or anything but randomly picked Martino's because it was directly opposite both the station and the theatre. And it was very decent (and suitably quick), but eating out in London is really not for the faint-hearted these days when it comes to paying the bill.

After which, we wandered over to the theatre and had to investigate the bar because they only open the doors at the last minute (for that very reason) - and it's got a very smart bar downstairs which was surprisingly busy serving Toast beers which I've never heard of, but the hazy IPA was extremely drinkable. And, of course, the minute we were served, the doors opened so we made our way to the seats which had a good view, seemed comfortable and had decent legroom (for me with my tiny legs anyway). And no, we still had no idea what we were about to see...

So the lights went down and the curtain went up to reveal a stage with a load of old crap on it - a fridge, a tiny telly, a load of random old chairs and more stuff that I can't remember. And Tilda, who was quite obviously stood there with her face covered in white paint and wearing a flimsy housecoat and some red Y-fronts - I had no expectation that it would explained at any point (and I wasn't disappointed).

But luckily, the play was extremely self-explanatory with a simple, linear plot that was easy to follow and not in the slightest bit confusing, right? Was it bollocks! It's a one-woman show which is centred around the life of a German woman who adopts her husband's identity when he dies, nominally for economic reasons (but that's probably not the whole story) - we follow her and the various turns her life and Germany take from pre-war times up until the present day. Various themes are explored (rarely in a straightforward manner) - I identified identity, gender roles, right-wing politics and just what people will do in order to survive but I suspect others (who may be more attuned to such things than me) are better placed to explain it all to you (although I wouldn't suggest you start by asking Mrs Reed). I think it's probably just safest to say I didn't exactly follow what was going on at all times.

Tilda is, of course, excellent at the acting thing - an 85 minute monologue is no mean feat and she's not to be rushed into it, with pauses being an important part of her repertoire (but not excessively so). There is an element to performance art to things, with random prancing about and cans of beer being poured over her head - I guess your general view of such things will colour your opinion of the show (I'm never convinced by them, but other viewpoints are available). There are also various costume changes throughout the show (although the white paint and red Y-fronts are a constant) which contribute to very different looks - she's quite the chameleon (although the beer over the head obviously helps a bit here), which feeds nicely into the identity aspects of the story . We also Googled her afterwards - the lass is 65 now and doesn't really look massively different from how she's ever looked.

What we also Googled is what was so special about this production - and there's quite a few things, I can tell you. The play is based upon Bertholdt Brecht's Mann Ist Mann (from 1928, but bizarrely the main character is Irish) and Tilda starred in the UK premiere of this in '88 in the Royal Court and the Traverse Theatre (in Edinburgh). And she's not been on stage since '89, so people were pretty excited about her being back - OK, they were really very excited indeed. The play itself has been updated twice since its premiere with the addition of new scenes reflecting Germany's history including, madly, the fall of the Berlin Wall - that's ancient history, surely? And what's even more bizarre is that the play was updated both times by Manfred Karge, the original writer, who is now 88 - fair play to the lad for keeping his eye in and his work up to date.

Back to this version of the show, I've only got a few more observations (promise!). Interestingly, Tilda didn't get a standing ovation (NOBODY stood up) - and the last couple of times I've seen anything which has had a role about 10% as impressive, people haven't been able to stop themselves jumping to their feet. And I'd love to give you some clue as to why that might be, but I've got absolutely nothing for you - maybe they were just a tough crowd.

I also have some quibbles about the theatre - the seats felt very comfortable initially, but after about an hour my back was quite hurty, which was a bit of a surprise. However, it was unfortunate that, at exactly the same time, the theatre got super hot - I went through a very uncomfortable ten minutes. Maybe I was just unlucky on the night, but a longer play under those conditions wouldn't have been a load of fun - it is a lovely looking theatre though (with a very nice bar underneath it)

All in all though, it was an interesting and enjoyable night out with my lovely wife. I couldn't honestly say I understood what was going on for large periods of time but it was great to see an obvious master of her craft at work - so thank you, Auntie Zoe!

Dara ó Briain - A top evening out